The vision changed, the colures changed, the eyes changes!! but...there is this picture, that is stuck in the memory of her old eyes. it keeps resisting the change, the transformation. she is suffering within her soul. searching for the lost truth about her true identity. she is lost in the journey of understanding that messed up world she is living in.
who is fault is this!! the ones who destroyed it? the ones who took away her eyes!
deep inside, she was happy that she lost that vision that distorted her mind and shattered her heart for a long time and consumed her life. she is a rebel! she broke the present, changed it and created new future.
I do not know why I am writing that. now I change my life, traveled away but how your life keeps haunting you is very exhausting. it seems that we wont be relieved until our soul finds its new home.
she is a little girl that ran away from a life to a new one. she will keep running, not out of fear but out of boredom and disappointment. she open the door she hide and her bed, she entered into a world full of fairytales and magic. she met her best friend, a colorful unicorn that looks exactly as the magical one her mom used to describe in her bed to fall asleep.
going back to now, what is a best explanation for me?! there is this overwhelming feeling of sadness, disappointment and failure. truly, it has no source, I mean I cant find a solid reason behind this.
the little girl decided to love Peter Pan and decided to fly away with him. she remembered his words in his movie saying “Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.”
she closed her eyes very tightly, not allowing any sunlight to enter them, as it will ruin her dream. she smiled and traveled across the different worlds she kept in her small pocket.
I learned a lot, I changed a lot. I kept many black dots in my white memory. yes, I lost my memory, maybe my eyes were my memory! maybe they contained everything I lived. of, that is why I removed them, replaced them to have a new start, a new life.
she kept closing her eyes, dreaming. she sang every song has been ever created. she played every note a musician has ever imagined. nop. its not done yet, I still have more, there is more to live, more to go through.
the dr. told me that the surgery went well. I am not longer having my black eyes. I asked him, what is my eyes color? he said: its your destiny to color them!
I did not understand his words, I thought he is joking or just flirting with my new eyes. it turned our to be true, my eyes are transparent! you can see the whole world through them!
she felt her heart hurts, she opened her eyes suddenly! she looked in the mirror, she saw a big girl, or woman looking back at her. she did not know what to say. she took couple of minutes thinking and closing her eyes then open them. she kept saying that strange girl, she said: excuse me miss, who are you?!
Oh My God, Ya Allah
I have a hole in my head! an empty brain! I cant remember how to see. I can not remember who I am.
save me!! the only thing in my mind is this old song that was created for black eyes. I lost my black eyes! they are gone, with all I have of memories, vision and life.
she laughed and said. oh, you are very cute. you changed a lot when you grew up. then she pinched her in her cheek and said: wake up, you are not a young girl anymore, forget these dreams!
the young girl kept listening, watching and observing the terrifying similarities between her and this "miss". it is not me!
can you please give me my black eyes back? he laughed, no, you know the deal! your eyes were dead the moment you gave up on them. your body refused every colorful eyes we tried. it only accepted this one!. you are still young, you will have a plenty of time to color it as you want. I said: NO I want my black eyes back!. he said: you can find them in that empty museum in the end of that small village. but, it is dead. focus on what you have and forget about your past. just let it go!
she grew up, she was shocked as this is not what Peter Pan promised her. he told her that they will spent their life together, as young kids. he left her, she grew up! he abandoned her and took the whole childish world for himself. she grew up!
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